Wednesday, December 16, 2020
Baby Bottles Revisited: What I Learned From My Babies
3. Some Babies are Chuggers
Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Gingerbread Man Christmas Tree Ornaments with Customized Tags
One tradition that we started in our home was making Christmas tree ornament gifts "from our children." Our firs baby's first Christmas ornament "gifts" were handprints and footprints in red and green. This was nearly a hassle free project and I was hooked. The next project was a bit more elaborate, and nearly from scratch.
These were a lot of effort to make, but were worth the result. I had completed the gingerbread man outline and I had let my toddler decide on the decorations that I had glued on using hot glue.
Below are the instructions used to create these ornaments.
I also wanted to make sure that the tags were customized. A tag die and a small tag hole punch were used to create the shape out of heavy scrap-booking paper. I then used small Recollections stamps to write the giver and recipients.
An Honest Usborne Book Review
I first came across Usborne books when one of my friends asked if I would go to an Usborne book party that she was a virtual host for.
Before that, most books companies that I was aware of were the big publishing houses that filled big book stores, used bookstores, and school book fairs alike.
I do not need an excuse to buy children's books because we read books throughout the day. I quickly picked out some books that were interactive and accessible for my child at the time.
I received the books and we have enjoyed many evenings touching textured pages and lifting flaps.
URSTYLE Link: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2775628
The books vary in subject, targeted age range, and quality. The prices reflect this.
The touchy-feely book that I own is an amazing quality with thick pages. The illustrations that accessible to babies who may not be able to see in full colors. And I appreciate that it was made for babies instead of the adults.
I want to be very honest when I say that the illustrations are not unique works of art exactly. The artwork is made to stand up to repeated wear and tear though. And that is most important to me right now. This might be a skewed view since I did not get any thematically intricate books like a fairy tale.
The drawback to these books is that they do thrive in an MLM structure. The MLM business structure makes me wary. And I will tell you why. Usborne books are everywhere online, in big box stores, and at virtual MLM parties. I feel like all of these platforms compete with one another and I genuinely feel like the "book people" should get a fraction of all generic online sales since they are the ones doing the majority of detailed marketing.
Even as I write this, there is a list of books that I want to get and I also have a "maybe" future list depending on what my kids get into as they get older.
All that said, I have heard some concerns and a bit of conflict from independent authors and illustrators who find that these books can overwhelm regional small business fairs to the point that it is harder for local authors to compete at the very events that were essentially designed for them. So knowing this, I hope that anyone reading this article spends additional effort sleuthing online for local authors and independent authors in addition to these wonderful books.
In particular, I think it is important to shop for books where illustrations jump of the pages, especially in this day and age where parents are discouraged from taking their children to museums. I think that illustrators are amazing and it is important to seek books that support illustrators. Also, I feel it is important to ensure that my bookshelf includes books with characters that look like my child as well as characters who that do not look like my child.
Being a Better Parent While Doing Less the Right Way
We are in our own little bubble right now. We are socially distancing, wearing masks, and keeping our public outings to a livable minimum.
With all of that in mind, I definitely feel like my little ones are not getting the proper socialization that they deserve to develop good communication skills, manners, and self-esteem.
I found myself in the same shoes of other parents who claimed that their older children have regressed in their development due to the observation and then mimicry of their little sibling demanding everything and getting everything within reason.
Just the other day my child demanded that I should get something for him from the fridge. Mind you, he does not have any issues with opening, finding, and getting what he wants. He just knows that his brother gets all that he needs just by babbling. And here my toddler was using full sentences with his whole heart. Surely, he was going to get some string cheese.
No.
No he was not.
A long time ago, reading "Montessori from the Start" Taught me that it is easier to be a servant to a child than a teacher and parent. While I will give him all of the love in his own love language, I will try my best to do less.
And that is not a bad thing when done right.
Regardless of parenting style, what we know, deep down, is that we are preparing our children to live in a time, place, and culture without us. This might be 5 feet away when they have their first playground altercation, or 500 miles away when they more away from home, or this might be the ever so depressing "without us" that I don't want to think about.
The more they start learning useful and practical life skills, the easier the parents' lives will become and the more the child can learn more and increasingly complicated skills.
Right now my pet peeve is potty training, but honestly, if I can get my child to learn his morning routine and the cues involved with everything except that, my life would be so much easier. So that is my goal for now and this coming year. I want to enable my child to do more self-care and eating tasks without my supervision.
My ideal would be to build confidence over time in my child so that one day, when he can work with very hot foods, my husband and I can sleep in and to wake up to complete and delicious breakfast breakfast. A Mama can dream right?
Monday, November 9, 2020
The Story of Mothers in Little Fires Everywhere
First Impressions of Little Fires Everywhere
URSTYLE Link: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2758979
Reading "Little Fires Everywhere" by Celeste Ng was a beautiful experience and I wanted to dive into it from a parenting perspective.
Please be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead.
While intertwined relationships between teenagers is the main focus, and Shaker Heights, a setting that can be a character, attempts to steal the spotlight where possible, the book is fundamentally about motherhood. About parenthood. About that nuance of human cycles and conversely unprecedented futures that comes with each new generation.
This book would have wound up in a recommended school book report list had it been written a hundred years ago. I have heard a book reviewer say that the sentence structures could be better. I understand the sentiment, but I often find that a signature of the author features the author's weaknesses just as much as strengths. For example, while I highly enjoy Edith Wharton's work, I cannot, for the life of me, imagine a map or directions of any location within some of her key works. And that is okay. I prefer her descriptions of human nature under specific circumstances to the most riveting land survey.
Celeste Ng's characters escape from the page as fleshed out people without divulging every single tidbit of life history. The interactions are full and while authentic to their time, place, and culture, are universal enough that a few changes in slang and peripheral details would be enough to transfer this story in time and geography.
Parenting in Little Fires Everywhere
So back to parenting in "Little Fires Everywhere." While it is impossible to outright name each mother within this book a bad parent exactly, there are little red flags here and there that often resemble the red flags in real life. And I loved that. Not only is parenting a teenager one of the most difficult aspects of parenting, but also being a human being while parenting is a challenge not too small.
Even the most perfect parents carry red flags with them and make mistakes. And that's okay.
Elena Richardson and Mia Warren are portrayed as complimentary forces in parenting.
Elena Richardson
Elena Richardson had pursued preparing the space for the child and had followed this course to completion as part of the philosophy she adopted from her planned Shaker Heights setting. She had let her career, while impressive, stagnate compared to those of her peers.
She had come back to Shaker following schooling, ready to start the next chapter of her life. And while this preparation is elaborate, all of this preparation goes against "following the child," a key Montessori motto.
The main takeaways from Elena's parenting style is that there is not much flexibility. There is not a lot of room for mistakes because the preparation had eliminated as many opportunities for mistakes as possible.
One heartbreaking moment is realizing that while Elena has written the plan for her own children in stone regardless of how well it works out for them, she is more than willing to help other parents realize plans for their children that work for them. For example, she was more than willing to help a friend get her daughter into an all-girls school that was better for her education. Now it is not clear if this option is better just on paper or genuinely better for the child in real life, but it is already a red flag that Elena does not entertain even a glimmer of an idea like that for Izzy until the plot rolls out through the book. And then, it is much too late.
Mia Warren
By contrast Mia Warren provided and prepared many spaces showing her child the different ways to live in one country and how unique the landscapes, people, and even the sky can be. The comfort provided seemed very essential, instead of absolute. The complete lack of "following the child" is a stark contrast to Elena Richardson's methods and while it would be considered quirky to say the least by the current interpretation of the Montessori method, I can see a fierce follow the child aspect. Key examples include Mia using a sling when her child did not want to be put down, taking on jobs that allowed her to be close to her child, and letting her child mold oneself in the short term without judgement.
Mia's frequent moves take away any long-term environment from her child and give her child additional challenges in life. Her child is not able to establish long-term relationships, develop a support system other than her mother, or develop traditionally rewarded academic and extracurricular activities for college admissions.
One heartbreaking, yet completely glossed over point in the book, is the fact that we know that Pearl had the writing abilities to get into a prestigious university. After all, her essay had helped someone else get in. But it is doubtful that Pearl's application would have reflected the grades and involvement typically associated with stellar applications. After all, it is 2020 and parents have gotten into trouble for forging their children's extracurricular involvement. We know this matters, and we know it is hard to build this consistency in new places.
Both Mothers are Goals and Both are Cautionary Tales
I wanted to provide a comfortable home for my children to thrive in. I also had seen what multiple moves do to a child's academic progress as a tutor and from my own experience. And yet, I want to show the world to my children that I was lucky enough to experience. Yes, consistently developing a know-how in academics or sports is important, but there is so much of the world to experience that is far more personally rewarding.
Mia's life is enviable despite it being opposite to the suburban living ideal. And as a parent in 2020, it's easy to see why. Pre-COVID, it was not surprising to see school shooting events in the news. Surely, doing remote schooling while traveling sounded a lot better than looming fears and sporadic school drills. Even the most prestigious suburb- or any setting that can be its own character- does not guarantee safety from school shooters or other violence.
Saturday, October 17, 2020
Using Jordan Page’s Block Schedule with Some Edits
It is a night at home, my list of "quiet," after-bedtime chores are finished. I have retired to reading and writing for the night. These are my two passions in between busy routines.
And I wanted to share one method to add a bit of routine, efficiency, and quality to your day. It is Jordan Page's Block Schedule. You can read about it on her website here.
In the article and the YouTube video, she outlines how a daily schedule is similar to a class schedule in high school. She then goes to separate her day into "Blocks" that make sense for her daily life centered around being an active person, a mother, a wife, a homemaker, a friend, and a relative.
What I loved most about this approach was that not one of these roles was taken for granted, put on the proverbial back burner of life. And that got me to fully pay attention.
Her schedule of Blocks includes carved out hours either defined by external responsibilities or personal preference when she commits to specific tasks and once the "Block" is over, she moves onto a different task without dwelling.
So, I tried it. And I loved it.
I specifically loved it because it was a really good way to adjust to a more hectic morning routine.
My particular Blocks are different between weekdays and weekends, with the exception of vacations and holidays.
My weekday routine is as follows:
Block 1: 1 to 2 hours
1. Wake up
2. Get ready
3. Get the kids ready (hygiene, vitamins, medicine)
4. Change diapers/take trips to the potty
5. Have breakfast
6. Prepare pumping equipment
7. Prepare bottles and daycare necessities
8. Prepare to leave by putting on shoes and outer wear
9. Drop children off at daycare
Block 2: 9 hours
1. Complete emails
2. Setup meetings
3. Work on long-term projects
4. Break for lunch and pump
5. Work on short-term projects
6. Attend meetings
7. Work on any projects that are due
8. Coordinate with clients and internal teams
Block 3: 2 hours
1. Pick up children from daycare
2. Come home
3. Have dinner
4. Do dishes
5. Play with children until bedtime
6. Change diapers, complete trips to the potty
7. Help Baby 1 with nighttime routine
8. Settle Baby 2 to bed
Block 4: 3 hours
1. Decompress
2. Complete any necessary or not necessary chores
3. Read
4. Write
5. Play the Sims
6. Plan the day for tomorrow
7. Catch up with friends over zoom
8. Shower
9. Get ready for bed
Block 5: 8 hours
1. Sleep
2. Wake up again and again as needed
I followed this schedule and although I vary my routine during the weekend, especially when I can have a few more minutes of sleep, I love the structure during my weekdays.
Following this block schedule I know that I haven't forgotten something along the way like vitamins or medicine. This Block schedule is also a great way to share parenting or caregiver duties since it shows everything that the child needs to have in a day and what a parent or caregiver needs to do to facilitate activities.
As you can see, or imagine, I do not get to do my entire Block 4 in 3 hours each day. I would need more hours. And that's okay. I end up doing what suits the evening the best. Most of the time that is listening to an audio book and writing since I end up moving quite a lot at work and while playing with my children.
I think one of the great takeaways from Jordan Page's block schedule is that I end up building healthy boundaries in my day for mental health. While I do not compartamentalize 100%, I do put limits on the ammount of chores I do during the day while the kids are awake so that I can play with them more.
Since I have young children who always want me to play with them, I have this fear that once they are old enough, maybe well in their teenage years, that they will not want me to play with them, or talk to them as much. So I try to maximize our time with quality time. And I figured I could do chores during the day at some point later in life when my children are not interested in playing with toys or hide and seek, or peekaboo.
Another great takeaway is the capacity to slowly build a schedule over time. It takes a while to get the whole family used to something and this way, you have a few broad strokes that you can then develop further into more granular detail. For example, I would like to have some help with chores once each child in my family has reached a necessary maturity level. Well, they cannot learn if they do not ever see the chore being done, if they do not participate in the chore, if they do not undertstand all of the actions associated with completing the chore. Therefore, some chores will start to be completed during the morning or the evening to start incorporating these chores into my family's routine instead of just my routine.
Maternity Wardobe Additions for a Fall/Winter Pregnancy
URSTYLE link: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2773442
You don't have to buy an all new wardrobe in order to look stylish while pregnant.
If you are a clothing minimalist, or if you want to dress yourself without breaking the bank, this post is for you!
First and foremost, I want to say that most social media regarding pregnancy is a lot of lies. No one wears a maternity gown every day. Most expecting parents wear loose clothing that still fits from their non-maternity wardrobe until there is no choice but to wear maternity or otherwise over-sized clothing if maternity is not your cup of tea.
Outerwear
Second, yes, if you are going to be nine months pregnant during the winter then you will need a coat or a very, very warm wool sweater that fits over your belly and then some. There is no way around it in a cold climate.
I would usually say that if you intend on taking walks, even if it's from your car to your destination that it is worth splurging on something comfortable. This being 2020 with outings limited due to COVID-19, it makes less sense to get something aesthetically appealing and more practical, social distance activity-friendly options seem like the best choice.
Jeans and Pants
If you use the popular and brilliant rubber band technique or the belly bandit, then you might be able to spend the majority of your pregnancy in your favorite, non-maternity, jeans.
Jeans are very practical and I placed these on my list because I wore them at least three times a week during the second and third trimesters.
If you work outside of the home where business attire is the norm, you will have to purchase enough office friendly bottoms. More often than not, business and business casual clothing is less friendly to the life hacks such as the rubber band or the belly bandit.
One of my favorite shopping moments was finding a pair of Loft Maternity pants at a thrift store for maternity wear. It was a steal for the price, and although they were a bit tight in the ninth month of pregnancy, I love these pants and still wear them almost a year postpartum.
Nursing Tanks
If you are also planning to breastfeed, this is a good investment now. These tanks tend to run long and they will be the go to top after your baby is born. You might want to get some ahead of time now and have additional undergarments. These tanks tend to stretch.
Leggings
Leggings are essential for the winter time to go under dresses. And if you are following your doctor's recommendations of doing light exercise, you need to supplement your athleisure with maternity choices during pregnancy. You don't even have to get maternity leggings although they are a big plus. If there is a non-maternity pattern or style that you like, you might be able to size up and wear them up to your due date, it all depends on the material and the clothing brand.
Dresses
Dresses are underrated as maternity wear. I love sweater dresses or wrap dresses because they will stretch.
Shirts and Sweaters
While I highly suggest re-purposing your own pieces, it might be a good idea to have a few key shirts and sweaters ready to go for just about any activity. There is only so far that re-purposing can go. And sometimes, it makes sense to be put together just a little more.
I think sweaters are a good investment in general and they don't have to be maternity. A cozy wool or cashmere blend sweater will always come handy while sipping coco by a campfire or taking a brisk walk long after the baby is born.
As someone who is naturally always a bit cold, I want to point out that Merino wool, machine cold-washable wool, is a great investment and will stay warm even when wet. It will always be worth the initial investment without the headache of dry-cleaning.
Open Faced Cardigans
While this might look like an ordinary sweater, it is more of a maternity wear power house. These cardigans can often effectively shield a pregnant belly from the elements without having to be a maternity item.
They are easy layers to put on and take off and will serve time and time again during pregnancy and long after the baby is born.
If you live in milder climates, these pieces can be your outerwear layer.
Comfortable Sleepwear
This last essential addition to the maternity wardrobe is comfortable, breathable sleepwear. The final trimester is not a comfortable destination. You need all of the comfort so that you can get the rest that you need and deserve.
Also, chances are that when your baby does come, you want to be as comfortable as possible.
To be fair, most Mamas I know tend to "borrow" an oversized shirt from their husbands, but it is far better to get your own.
Thursday, October 15, 2020
Preparing Your Space the Montessori Way For Adults
What I love most about the Montessori method is not the floor bed or the ways that kids can learn independence, but what it can do for the mother or the caregiver.
The Montessori method allows the parents to reexamine their spaces and assess challenges not only for their children, but also for themselves. The home either serves as an asset or a liability for the life of the family.
Sure, if spaces are not prepared for the children inhabiting them, the child eventually learns to move past or over or under the obstacles. And if that doesn't happen, the child can simply grow up. However, obstacles that can have a lasting impact on the parents, mamas, or caregivers are those rarely noticed because we, as adults, simply get used to them.
How often have we found a chore not done, a home not ready for visitors, or just a home with things out of place to the point that it bothers us? Or how often have we had everything in its place and it was just too hard to setup equipment like art supplies for a hobby because your home was not built or setup with fun in mind?
Preparing a space is a luxury in itself. In those precious, and at times rare, situations when we get to prepare our environment, it is amazing what we can achieve by removing some of these challenges.
The home defines what happens in it. It might be a hook onto which keys can be easily placed, saving time and energy for other activities. Or it could be readily accessible towels for those toddlers and preschoolers to clean up their messes with relative ease. It could be a few toys out of place that are obstacles to adults and children alike during the morning. It could be an accessible pantry, making it easy to plan and make meals.
Like many mommy bloggers, I am over 25, and I still think that I can benefit from preparing my space so that I can have a slightly more fulfilling life.
So I am off on my journey, I am going to report back in weekly increments. Stay Tuned!
Transformative Journey From One Child to Two
Urstyle source link: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2767916
Third Trimester Pregnant with Number Two
All I wanted to do was sleep, to be comfortable, and wish my baby would get here already.
And at first, it was a great relief. I was lucky enough to be back on my feet soon after getting home from the hospital.
Our new baby presented this happy disruption to our daily routine. All of a sudden we were doing the same things we normally were, but now we had a new baby and the excitement that came with new interactions and watching our little cuddlebug grow and develop into a bigger baby with each day.
My often rambunctious toddler adjusted swiftly without too many hiccups. My toddler still maintained his fool proof sleeping schedule with only one or two late night wakes that evolved into a few extra minutes of quality time, and one or two times that he joined me on the couch as I took my evening naps.
In the beginning, my newborn was stationary, sleeping most of the time. And besides loving our tired faces, he had no interest in the outside world and preferred to sleep.
The Honeymoon Period Ended
This Honeymoon Period ended with a jolt.
This jolt happened very fast when my young baby gently grabbed a new toy toward himself and put it in his mouth. Then, he just kept discovering new and exciting things. Everything was a teething toy. He would see, he would reach or roll his body towards it, and he would grab. My toddler realized that all of his toys might become teething toys at some point, and he was not amused.
Next, he started to crawl towards new things. And soon after that he started to stand to get to new heights.
Lets Get the disclaimer over with
No two mama or parent stories are the same.
When I say the honeymoon period ended, I don't want to diminish the level of suffering that I went through as a new mother again. Post partum is not a party, but I want to shift away from those painful body experiences and instead focus on family life. Also, I think my body purposefully, conveniently forgets what the pain was actually like in order get me ready to undergo the ordeal again. Funny how human bodies are built.
Ways to Prepare for the Active Baby and Toddler Stage
I wanted to share some things that I learned fast from experience that have made a huge difference.
1. Siblings will Automatically Gravitate Towards One Another
The Good
If the age difference is small enough, the older child will not spend a lot of time remembering being an only child.
Siblings will laugh together and will share a bond.
Right now my kids are developing what I hope is a lifelong friendship. They smile at the same time when they play together. And they already know what the other one likes. They share their moods and try their best to play with one another, although this is still not possible because of developmental differences.
The Bad
Sometimes, older siblings can gravitate towards their younger counterparts for "bad" reasons, like to deal with jealousy in their limited, but aggressive toddler ways. I know that my older child loves his baby brother, but once in a while his jealousy monster is fed and he ends up taking a toy right out of his baby brother's hands.
I learned that my toddler needs just as much attention as before and I try to satiate this need with conversation since it is the easiest.
2. The Cleanliness of Your Home Reaches New Levels
The Good
You get used to organizing and cleaning on the go during the day. And as a result, you will be more ready for planned or unplanned company.
Yes, your home can still look like a hurricane blew through it, but you can fix it in record time since you had so much time to hone in your disaster control skills in homemaking.
The Bad
Things that were okay before, like storing the car seat on a low shelf in the home, is now a serious accident waiting to happen, so you have to figure it out and become more creative.
Right now, I am in the middle of combing pinterest with a fine toothed comb to organize my small home in a way that enables us to live with less dangers for my mobile baby. It is hard.
3. Going Outside Is Hard Again
The Good
There is nothing more captivating than watching a baby discover new things for the first time, including everything that the outside has to offer.
The Bad
I cannot just add layers and wear your baby. My baby is now an active participant.
My baby might be interested in exploring that I have to be ready for. While I do not believe in raising my child in a bubble, it gets super tiring making sure he does not try to eat stems of roses or other plants.
Also, while I am writing this during COVID, any activity outside of the home is difficult. Even going to a socially distance maintained park or playground is hard because you cannot just chase down and pick up your toddler if you are carrying your baby. You have to worry about all of the ways you can limit bringing germs home.
4. Some Days Will Just Feel Like Too Much Work
The Good
The Bad
5. You Will Develop Fine Focus on Two Kids
The Good
The Bad
Those times fine focus require lots of energy and sometimes, I just do not have the energy for the extras. Sometimes, I do not have the energy for the essentials. The little things can be put off indefinitely if they are not fundamentally required.Afterthoughts
And Then We All Got COVID
Every day felt like we were just getting the life sucked out of us with no light at the end the tunnel. And then we all got COVID. Cover art...
-
Okay, confession time, I listen to Dave Ramsey and I also follow Jordan Page. Additionally, if there was a money saving tip of any sort, fro...
-
I first came across Usborne books when one of my friends asked if I would go to an Usborne book party that she was a virtual host for. Befor...
-
I wanted to take the time to talk about one of my favorite parenting books. This book is called Montessori from the Start by Paula Polk Lil...