Showing posts with label new baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new baby. Show all posts

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Transformative Journey From One Child to Two


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Third Trimester Pregnant with Number Two

All I wanted to do was sleep, to be comfortable, and wish my baby would get here already. 

And at first, it was a great relief. I was lucky enough to be back on my feet soon after getting home from the hospital. 

Our new baby presented this happy disruption to our daily routine. All of a sudden we were doing the same things we normally were, but now we had a new baby and the excitement that came with new interactions and watching our little cuddlebug grow and develop into a bigger baby with each day.

My often rambunctious toddler adjusted swiftly without too many hiccups. My toddler still maintained his fool proof sleeping schedule with only one or two late night wakes that evolved into a few extra minutes of quality time, and one or two times that he joined me on the couch as I took my evening naps. 

In the beginning, my newborn was stationary, sleeping most of the time. And besides loving our tired faces, he had no interest in the outside world and preferred to sleep. 

The Honeymoon Period Ended

This Honeymoon Period ended with a jolt.

This jolt happened very fast when my young baby gently grabbed a new toy toward himself and put it in his mouth. Then, he just kept discovering new and exciting things. Everything was a teething toy. He would see, he would reach or roll his body towards it, and he would grab. My toddler realized that all of his toys might become teething toys at some point, and he was not amused.

Next, he started to crawl towards new things. And soon after that he started to stand to get to new heights.  

Lets Get the disclaimer over with

No two mama or parent stories are the same.

When I say the honeymoon period ended, I don't want to diminish the level of suffering that I went through as a new mother again. Post partum is not a party, but I want to shift away from those painful body experiences and instead focus on family life. Also, I think my body purposefully, conveniently forgets what the pain was actually like in order get me ready to undergo the ordeal again. Funny how human bodies are built. 

Ways to Prepare for the Active Baby and Toddler Stage

I wanted to share some things that I learned fast from experience that have made a huge difference.

1. Siblings will Automatically Gravitate Towards One Another

The Good

If the age difference is small enough, the older child will not spend a lot of time remembering being an only child. 

Siblings will laugh together and will share a bond. 

Right now my kids are developing what I hope is a lifelong friendship. They smile at the same time when they play together. And they already know what the other one likes. They share their moods and try their best to play with one another, although this is still not possible because of developmental differences.    

The Bad

Sometimes, older siblings can gravitate towards their younger counterparts for "bad" reasons, like to deal with jealousy in their limited, but aggressive toddler ways. I know that my older child loves his baby brother, but once in a while his jealousy monster is fed and he ends up taking a toy right out of his baby brother's hands. 

I learned that my toddler needs just as much attention as before and I try to satiate this need with conversation since it is the easiest.

2.  The Cleanliness of Your Home Reaches New Levels

The Good

You get used to organizing and cleaning on the go during the day. And as a result, you will be more ready for planned or unplanned company. 

Yes, your home can still look like a hurricane blew through it, but you can fix it in record time since you had so much time to hone in your disaster control skills in homemaking.

The Bad

Things that were okay before, like storing the car seat on a low shelf in the home, is now a serious accident waiting to happen, so you have to figure it out and become more creative. 

Right now, I am in the middle of combing pinterest with a fine toothed comb to organize my small home in a way that enables us to live with less dangers for my mobile baby. It is hard.

3. Going Outside Is Hard Again

The Good

There is nothing more captivating than watching a baby discover new things for the first time, including everything that the outside has to offer.  

The Bad

I cannot just add layers and wear your baby. My baby is now an active participant.

 My baby might be interested in exploring that I have to be ready for. While I do not believe in raising my child in a bubble, it gets super tiring making sure he does not try to eat stems of roses or other plants.  

Also, while I am writing this during COVID, any activity outside of the home is difficult. Even going to a socially distance maintained park or playground is hard because you cannot just chase down and pick up your toddler if you are carrying your baby. You have to worry about all of the ways you can limit bringing germs home.

4. Some Days Will Just Feel Like Too Much Work

The Good

There is no good part to this one.

The Bad 

Sometimes, I just want to get a good night of sleep. And that is just out of reach right now. And from having this unmet need, I find that the rest of the day can lag behind or just evolve into a relaxed, but low activity day on the couch.

5. You Will Develop Fine Focus on Two Kids

The Good

This is a superpower similar to x-ray vision, flying, or time traveling. Seriously. And it is the thing that's needed when siblings are in two different stages of development. 

I end up being able to carry conversations, sing songs, organize, clean, play with, and feed your children and it is scary. 

My mind just goes in overdrive because it has to. They are only little once and they need attention.

The Bad 

Those times fine focus require lots of energy and sometimes, I just do not have the energy for the extras. Sometimes, I do not have the energy for the essentials. The little things can be put off indefinitely if they are not fundamentally required.

Afterthoughts  


Eventually your kids will learn to play peacefully either together or apart and the day that you can relax and maybe focus on something else, or yourself for once, will happen sooner than you think.


 



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