Showing posts with label Mom Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mom Life. Show all posts

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Maternity Wardobe Additions for a Fall/Winter Pregnancy

 

URSTYLE link: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2773442

 

You don't have to buy an all new wardrobe in order to look stylish while pregnant.

If you are a clothing minimalist, or if you want to dress yourself without breaking the bank, this post is for you!

First and foremost, I want to say that most social media regarding pregnancy is a lot of lies. No one wears a maternity gown every day. Most expecting parents wear loose clothing that still fits from their non-maternity wardrobe until there is no choice but to wear maternity or otherwise over-sized clothing if maternity is not your cup of tea.

Outerwear

Second, yes, if you are going to be nine months pregnant during the winter then you will need a coat or a very, very warm wool sweater that fits over your belly and then some. There is no way around it in a cold climate. 

I would usually say that if you intend on taking walks, even if it's from your car to your destination that it is worth splurging on something comfortable. This being 2020 with outings limited due to COVID-19, it makes less sense to get something aesthetically appealing and more practical, social distance activity-friendly options seem like the best choice. 

Jeans and Pants

If you use the popular and brilliant rubber band technique or the belly bandit, then you might be able to spend the majority of your pregnancy in your favorite, non-maternity, jeans. 

Jeans are very practical and I placed these on my list because I wore them at least three times a week during the second and third trimesters.

If you work outside of the home where business attire is the norm, you will have to purchase enough office friendly bottoms. More often than not, business and business casual clothing is less friendly to the life hacks such as the rubber band or the belly bandit. 

One of my favorite shopping moments was finding a pair of Loft Maternity pants at a thrift store for maternity wear. It was a steal for the price, and although they were a bit tight in the ninth month of pregnancy, I love these pants and still wear them almost a year postpartum.

Nursing Tanks

If you are also planning to breastfeed, this is a good investment now. These tanks tend to run long and they will be the go to top after your baby is born. You might want to get some ahead of time now and have additional undergarments. These tanks tend to stretch.

Leggings 

Leggings are essential for the winter time to go under dresses. And if you are following your doctor's recommendations of doing light exercise, you need to supplement your athleisure with maternity choices during pregnancy. You don't even have to get maternity leggings although they are a big plus. If there is a non-maternity pattern or style that you like, you might be able to size up and wear them up to your due date, it all depends on the material and the clothing brand.

Dresses

Dresses are underrated as maternity wear. I love sweater dresses or wrap dresses because they will stretch. 

Shirts and Sweaters

While I highly suggest re-purposing your own pieces, it might be a good idea to have a few key shirts and sweaters ready to go for just about any activity. There is only so far that re-purposing can go. And sometimes, it makes sense to be put together just a little more.

I think sweaters are a good investment in general and they don't have to be maternity. A cozy wool or cashmere blend sweater will always come handy while sipping coco by a campfire or taking a brisk walk long after the baby is born. 

As someone who is naturally always a bit cold, I want to point out that Merino wool, machine cold-washable wool, is a great investment and will stay warm even when wet. It will always be worth the initial investment without the headache of dry-cleaning. 

Open Faced Cardigans

While this might look like an ordinary sweater, it is more of a maternity wear power house. These cardigans can often effectively shield a pregnant belly from the elements without having to be a maternity item. 

They are easy layers to put on and take off and will serve time and time again during pregnancy and long after the baby is born. 

If you live in milder climates, these pieces can be your outerwear layer. 

Comfortable Sleepwear

This last essential addition to the maternity wardrobe is comfortable, breathable sleepwear. The final trimester is not a comfortable destination. You need all of the comfort so that you can get the rest that you need and deserve. 

Also, chances are that when your baby does come, you want to be as comfortable as possible. 

To be fair, most Mamas I know tend to "borrow" an oversized shirt from their husbands, but it is far better to get your own.  


 

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Transformative Journey From One Child to Two


 Urstyle source link: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2767916

 

Third Trimester Pregnant with Number Two

All I wanted to do was sleep, to be comfortable, and wish my baby would get here already. 

And at first, it was a great relief. I was lucky enough to be back on my feet soon after getting home from the hospital. 

Our new baby presented this happy disruption to our daily routine. All of a sudden we were doing the same things we normally were, but now we had a new baby and the excitement that came with new interactions and watching our little cuddlebug grow and develop into a bigger baby with each day.

My often rambunctious toddler adjusted swiftly without too many hiccups. My toddler still maintained his fool proof sleeping schedule with only one or two late night wakes that evolved into a few extra minutes of quality time, and one or two times that he joined me on the couch as I took my evening naps. 

In the beginning, my newborn was stationary, sleeping most of the time. And besides loving our tired faces, he had no interest in the outside world and preferred to sleep. 

The Honeymoon Period Ended

This Honeymoon Period ended with a jolt.

This jolt happened very fast when my young baby gently grabbed a new toy toward himself and put it in his mouth. Then, he just kept discovering new and exciting things. Everything was a teething toy. He would see, he would reach or roll his body towards it, and he would grab. My toddler realized that all of his toys might become teething toys at some point, and he was not amused.

Next, he started to crawl towards new things. And soon after that he started to stand to get to new heights.  

Lets Get the disclaimer over with

No two mama or parent stories are the same.

When I say the honeymoon period ended, I don't want to diminish the level of suffering that I went through as a new mother again. Post partum is not a party, but I want to shift away from those painful body experiences and instead focus on family life. Also, I think my body purposefully, conveniently forgets what the pain was actually like in order get me ready to undergo the ordeal again. Funny how human bodies are built. 

Ways to Prepare for the Active Baby and Toddler Stage

I wanted to share some things that I learned fast from experience that have made a huge difference.

1. Siblings will Automatically Gravitate Towards One Another

The Good

If the age difference is small enough, the older child will not spend a lot of time remembering being an only child. 

Siblings will laugh together and will share a bond. 

Right now my kids are developing what I hope is a lifelong friendship. They smile at the same time when they play together. And they already know what the other one likes. They share their moods and try their best to play with one another, although this is still not possible because of developmental differences.    

The Bad

Sometimes, older siblings can gravitate towards their younger counterparts for "bad" reasons, like to deal with jealousy in their limited, but aggressive toddler ways. I know that my older child loves his baby brother, but once in a while his jealousy monster is fed and he ends up taking a toy right out of his baby brother's hands. 

I learned that my toddler needs just as much attention as before and I try to satiate this need with conversation since it is the easiest.

2.  The Cleanliness of Your Home Reaches New Levels

The Good

You get used to organizing and cleaning on the go during the day. And as a result, you will be more ready for planned or unplanned company. 

Yes, your home can still look like a hurricane blew through it, but you can fix it in record time since you had so much time to hone in your disaster control skills in homemaking.

The Bad

Things that were okay before, like storing the car seat on a low shelf in the home, is now a serious accident waiting to happen, so you have to figure it out and become more creative. 

Right now, I am in the middle of combing pinterest with a fine toothed comb to organize my small home in a way that enables us to live with less dangers for my mobile baby. It is hard.

3. Going Outside Is Hard Again

The Good

There is nothing more captivating than watching a baby discover new things for the first time, including everything that the outside has to offer.  

The Bad

I cannot just add layers and wear your baby. My baby is now an active participant.

 My baby might be interested in exploring that I have to be ready for. While I do not believe in raising my child in a bubble, it gets super tiring making sure he does not try to eat stems of roses or other plants.  

Also, while I am writing this during COVID, any activity outside of the home is difficult. Even going to a socially distance maintained park or playground is hard because you cannot just chase down and pick up your toddler if you are carrying your baby. You have to worry about all of the ways you can limit bringing germs home.

4. Some Days Will Just Feel Like Too Much Work

The Good

There is no good part to this one.

The Bad 

Sometimes, I just want to get a good night of sleep. And that is just out of reach right now. And from having this unmet need, I find that the rest of the day can lag behind or just evolve into a relaxed, but low activity day on the couch.

5. You Will Develop Fine Focus on Two Kids

The Good

This is a superpower similar to x-ray vision, flying, or time traveling. Seriously. And it is the thing that's needed when siblings are in two different stages of development. 

I end up being able to carry conversations, sing songs, organize, clean, play with, and feed your children and it is scary. 

My mind just goes in overdrive because it has to. They are only little once and they need attention.

The Bad 

Those times fine focus require lots of energy and sometimes, I just do not have the energy for the extras. Sometimes, I do not have the energy for the essentials. The little things can be put off indefinitely if they are not fundamentally required.

Afterthoughts  


Eventually your kids will learn to play peacefully either together or apart and the day that you can relax and maybe focus on something else, or yourself for once, will happen sooner than you think.


 



Friday, September 25, 2020

The 7 Secrets to Happiness on Mondays as a Working Mama

Being a working mother is a beautiful thing. And yet, it does not look like it on Mondays. Sometimes it doesn't look like that on other days of the week either. 

Mondays are like the first game of the season for the week. It seems to layout a certain flow to the rest. That's why having it go well is a wonderful gift. 

I used to hate Mondays up until just about recently. Funny enough, these are also the years that I have accepted more responsibility in my home life and in my professional career. By all accounts, I should be having miserable mornings full of spilled, cold coffee on business casual clothes, multiple diaper changes, and dramatic scenes at maximum volume.

And while those Mondays happen as well, I am pleased to say that my mornings typically function smoothly. Or smoothly enough. Here are 7 secrets to finding that elusive happiness on a Monday morning.

1. The No-Brainer Secret

This one is a baseline secret, but here it is, Get into Your Flow.

Here is a good video on what is flow and I will try to paraphrase it in Mama terms with concrete examples. Flow is being completely involved in the task at hand with the ego forgotten. Flow is being really good at sorting laundry when you focus on it. Flow is listening to your child talk about a story and bonding. 

Flow can happen on Monday mornings. 

My Flow is borrowed from habits established from wearing many hats and the wonderful and very helpful Jordan Page's Block Schedule idea.  

It is much easier to be happy, relaxed, and focused when you know exactly what you have to do and how to do it. 

I find my Flow from knowing my what I need to do in the morning. There is a checklist in my head that I go through before anyone leaves the house. And there are so-called blocks or periods of wearing certain hats, like my make believe firefighter hat or my chef hat. 

I call this the no-brainer secret because there is no overthinking involved. People reach a state of Flow when they are doing tasks and activities that are second nature to them in that moment in time. 

2. Your Phone is Not Your Friend

There are so many things to unpack here. I am not saying that browsing social media and connecting with people is wrong. Checking email first thing in the morning is also not inherently wrong. 

It is the habit for habit's sake that is the problem. It creates an odd family culture in your household where your child might learn very early on that being physically there is not the same as being mentally or emotionally present.

So if you can be there mentally and emotionally for your child while looking at 3 screens and making dinner, then all is good. 

I know for myself that my minutes can escape me as I scroll through social media.

I try my hardest to avoid this. 

It is also a lot harder to do things in the morning when you are not mentally and emotionally in your same space.

I am trying to cutback on my phone use and when I do, I notice my mind come to a healthier place. I am not curious to know what 800 of my closest friends--some of whom I've only met once or haven't talked to since high school--are doing. And my phone transforms into a pocket reference to the rest of the world instead of an invisible net that is tying up my morning routine. 

3. The Morning Routine

Speaking of the morning routine, it is crucial. 

And here I am a stereotypical mother who loves her morning routine. We all recommend a good morning routine because it works. 

It's not really a secret, but it is detrimentally underrated that it might as well be one. A routine is not meant to remove any spontaneity from your life, but instead is meant to take out a lot of the bad possibilities.

4. Not Starting Behind

It is a wonderful feeling not running behind on chores, social obligations, or work deadlines. It is an amazing feeling not drowning in tasks, but instead having the time and opportunity to enjoy them in a state of flow. 

A very easy thing that you can do is to prepare bottles ahead of time or meals ahead of time as much as possible. Another thing is to take care of one weekly chore per night. And yet another thing is to complete some reading either for personal growth, a book club, or for professional reasons.  

The next aspect of this secret is one that unfortunately cannot be changed with just an "abundance" mindset. It's about having resources. There is a certain amount of basic resources or necessities you need like food, clothing, shelter, and safety that is necessary. 

For example, if you do not have food in your home, then you are behind sustenance for the morning. And in fact, it is usually the tangible and intangible resource deficits that make us miserable on Mondays. I hope that everyone reading this has their basic necessities on every day of the week. And same goes for people not reading this entry as well.  

5. Planning for Something Fun, Exciting or Comforting

It is good to look forward to something. So it makes my Monday better to look forward to a visit from family or catching up with a friend. 

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you should not reserve a bit of a reprieve from your daily grind ONLY for when everything is perfect. Chances are that perfect will never come. It is necessary to keep your bucket full. And filling your bucket is just as important as making sure your children are well-fed, clothed, and have their emotional needs met. 

I enjoy reading for enjoyment, catching up with friends, and taking bubble baths. You might enjoy something else. 

6. Make it a Game

As a Mama, I know what it is like to have your days melt together. With everyone spending more time at home on zoom calls instead of physical events and meetings, it is a lot easier to lose track of time. That is why I have a simple mental tool for how to avoid the old adage of "the years are short, but the days are long," Make. It. A. Game.

While this is not the best analogy, add some way to quantify an aspect of your day and make a goal. Then, give yourself a reward for it. Did you have nothing but patience as your child had a meltdown at a park after you spent hours planning and buying tickets? And did you not lose your head? Great! Give yourself a sticker, add a dollar to your savings account. Something. Find a way to measure your progress on your journey and most importantly celebrate each step.

7. Practice and Repeat

I am borrowing a lesson that was passed onto me from a very brilliant woman. And I am going to do my best to paraphrase it.

The first time that you do something that you have true talent in, you think you are going to be awesome at it. But no, the first time you do anything, even if you have talent in it, you are going to blow it and it will go horribly. 
 
Life takes practice. And the funny thing about being a mama, a mommy, or a mom, is that the title might stay the same, but our lives might change drastically from one week to the next. And as parents, we keep having these "firsts" that go horribly because we did not have enough practice of these new firsts. 
 
So practice and repeat. It will get better. 

And Then We All Got COVID

Every day felt like we were just getting the life sucked out of us with no light at the end the tunnel. And then we all got COVID. Cover art...